KL dUck

This deserves a post because i think im wayyy toooo emotional at times. This time round i almost burst into tears. Lol me.

Anyway, S gave me a surprise by giving a KL dUck that i've been waiting for tooooo long. I am dead serious with the long waiting. Because i am always late to receive updates in FV instagram. Maybe bcs sometimes im too ignorant.

So since S is going to a meeting with FashionValet CEO, so like why not kan. You should ask them later about KL dUck!! (White color preferable). So i was waiting for him to give any updates. You know just to know how's the meeting going, how was everyone. Ok i lie. I just wanna know about KL dUck.

Notification: S sent you a photo!!!!

I am hyperventilating!

*slide to open*

Yayyyyy......errrrrrr.....

Oh it's act a pic of him and the CEO

I really thought yang he act send a photo of KL dUck but it's just a happy picture of him. But wait......

What's he holding??!!! OH MY GODDDD IT IS FV GOODIE BAG. IT MUST BE SOMETHING GOOD. AND I AM SURE AS HELL IT IS

Ok dont get my hopes too high *breathe in breathe out*

Let's just wait for him to cerita everything.

'Sayang what's that in the paper bag???!!!!! Is it KL dUck??? You really got it????'

1 hour later still no reply *groans*

Oh my god i really feel like calling him. You have to be patient

10 years later...

'Sayang i got your dUck scarf !!, but just the plain one laa. Not the one yang you nak tu. Sorry'

Ugh finally

"Oh it's okay, i dont mind. I'd love anything to do with dUck scarves. You dpt color apa?"

'It's black'

"I dont have black dUck lagi. Yayyyyyy thanks sayang !!!'

*S sends you a photo*

pfftt. you think you funny

"SAYANG BETUL2 LA. JGN LA TIPU!!!'

*S sends you a photo*

"OH MY GOD YOU REALLY!!!! Who gave you? Tell me everything? Did you ask them? What happened?? How did you get the scarf? Oh wait, is this the real one or you just play around?"

YES I FINALLY GET THE KL DUCK SCARF. THANKS TO MY AMAZING MAN!

Light Sensation, Serdang

It was such a super tiring Saturday, woke up pretty late (as usual). I really should cut this habit. Gosh, when can I start realizing that waking up early gives so many benefits to me body. Now I’m gaining so much fat, like hello I am carrying a tummy of a pregnant lady (im not pregnant, hiperbola org Melayu ckp) everywhere I go but I am not even married. I seriously need to cut down my HAPPY MEALS, haha.

And so I was waiting for my friend message. I immediately texted her when I woke up bcs we were supposed to eat breakfast together (things I know rarely happen, bcs we both are heavy sleepers). Breakfast turns to 3pm lunch, a pretty quick catch up with my girlfriend. She needs to study afterwards, good luck people. Exam? What? It has been ages since the last time I heard the word exam, perks of being freshly graduated student, Ha Ha.

Back to aunt’s house and there it goes my endless waiting for Seth, haha. We had that jumpa ke tak jumpa ke tak, bcs yeah Bangi is quite far from his house. But hello im somewhere near you. Can you just come here and meet me already. So I planned to go Ioi City Mall bcs I need to change my shoe, something went wrong. But the exchange process is quite easy. Gave the shoe-she took it-observed what’s wrong-changed to a new pair-off you go. T H A N K G O D !

Walked around the mall to cari 7eleven. BECAUSE I NEED TO BUY THE LIGHT SENSATION TICKET! I WANT TO GO THERE! It looks so beautiful, the place. Well I only saw it on twitter. But it is a MUST GO! Well at least for me. Found 7E, bought the ticket. Yay! I know I am always lucky, we got the early bird tickets. Double Yay!! Pay less! Sometimes you need to be considerate, when your partner is broke (broke: having not enough money) you pay! It is not always him to be the one who needs to pay for your everything. Okay!

Hop on the car, off we go to Serdang, I really cant wait to see all the lights, so so cantik in picture. And I bet it’s gonna look even beautiful-er with my own eyes. YES YES YES! It only took less than half an hour to reach the place, but nak cari parking, Masyaallah banyak gila cars. The queue nak pergi entrance pun, umm not bad girl. (im wearing heels, yay me). Finally masuk after 10 days of waiting !

So me and Seth took our first pitstop to Look-up tower where you could see the whole event running. You need to spare your gym equipment here, SO MANY STEPS TO REACH TOP TOWER! Such a nice view up here (im kidding! You cant even see the light roses from up here. Dapat tengak sikit only. Pfft). Really, really, really nice gasping for more air. Seth was being gentleman here, he kipas kipas me with one piece of paper. Awwww, so sweet of you even though I cant even feel any air coming from the paper but I do appreciate your effort. Took pictures went downstairs. They should do a slide instead of stairs so I just have to slide to reach the ground!

Brisk-walking to the main entrance of Light Sensation, Love Series. Ahhhh finally we’re here!

“Sayang I can see the flower already OH MY GOD! I want to take lotsa pictures”

There were SO MANY PEOPLE, SO MANY! But whatever lets crammed it. This is the time I should be proud of being a petite size. Ha ha ha. Seth is my fav photographer today (who else right? He’s the only person who is eligible to take my pictures)

I pray that he took good pictures of me, please please please. Hahaha. I just need to brush up his skills in photography. Ok maybe one day.

Im in awe people! The light roses are so AH MA ZING. SO BEAUTIFUL ! They actually susun  the light roses to be one beautiful  Bunga Raya.

I only knew this after getting in the Ferrys Wheel (which I kind of regretted because pusing-pusing, very pening!)  Queuing for Ferrys Wheel will used up all of your patience. The crew said waiting time is 10-15 minutes. They lie! It took up almost an hour guys. But it’s totally worth it since my phone is very slow (internet still tak  renew) so we used the precious time talking to each other. Because we both know we rarely had that time, Seth is always busy with work work work. Little that we know, we have to pay if nak naik the Ferrys Wheel. Great! Seth took a quick pace to the nearest ticket counter and bought the ticker for rm6 per head. Hop on the carriage I have no idea what it is called and overlooked the whole place again. This time with the view of Bunga Raya, oh Malaysiaku .

Spiteful

Being a spiteful person is very 'how do i put this in words' heart-breaking?

You will always keep your problems to yourself, in fact you keep everything to yourself. Even when someone says something that doesnt mean to offend you, but you got touched by it. And let alone recover yourself without telling anyone about your feeling. Is it a good thing or not?

It is actually not good to have this kind of behaviour, because one day you will burst it out to someone innocent. Pity him/her. But yeah i always put other people's first before me. I hate when people has the thought of, you know 'i dont like her because she's like this and that and this that'. So whatever it is i put my needs after anyone else, even when sometimes i dont feel like i want to do it but i just did because the other person ask for it. Swallow them hard guys.

And sometimes i do have this feeling of having low self-esteem to myself, which is a bad thing as well. But you know crap that. I dont believe that i can do this, i dont believe that im able to do whatever that im doing, and the list goes on and on. All i need is someone to say that im not actually like that, but all i get is a person who says that i am rusty in all of that. DOUBLE PAIN GUYS! So it is true that im getting bad at it. 

I am feeling uneasy, uncomfortable, incomplete, all the negative words floating in my mind waiting to be sink deep down in my thoughts and it goes through my heart and stays there never leave. 

I feel like crying now 

LOST MONEY

There is always ups and downs in whatever you do right? But no matter what happens you have to make it work, or else you wont gain anything out of it. So what you really have to do is to be proactive and be more consistent and focus in things you do. 

I honestly have tried lotsa business, but it has never work on me. Maybe because i dont push that hard to excel! Boo me. Each and everyday i have to remind myself of all these things to make me realize exactly in which im standing. There are lots more to learn, dont be selfish! *note to self.

Keep track in whatever you do, put a weekly reminder (if you are as forgetful as i am), and try to finish your objectives! A MUST!

Grocery store

Years ago, i helped my dad run a grocery store (as his side income). Almost everyday i would come to the shop just to be the cashier, i had fun doing it, no joke! Years after, competitor starts to grow, supermarket starts to build our family business had some difficulties. We are only rolling our cost money, which obv is not a good sign because you need to get profit when you do business right. And we ended up losing so much money that my dad had no choice to sell the shop. 

Boutique

While doing the grocery business, dad had bought a property (shop lot). This time round dad was soooo excited and mom as well. Simply because our family is going to open up a BOUTIQUE!!! Mom loves fashion so much (you can tell by looking at her overflowing wardrobe, hehe). It's a wedding concept kind-of boutique. Mom took orders of doing hantaran. You know decorate bunga-bunga all that. Her favourite!! 

No i lie, it's not really wedding concept of boutique. But it was more like ALL KIND OF EVERYTHING concept of boutique. You can find Muslimah fashion apparel, wedding gown you can sewa, pelamin, telekung, kain pelikat?, baju batik ummm, FLOWERS!, shoes, slippers. OH MY GOD everything lah we sell in the boutique. Aku pun confuse tgk the boutique. Haha

It didnt last long as well. What's wrong with the business? We dont do any research, we never sit down and discuss, all we ever do is JUST DO IT. Which was obviously wrong. And the place to open the boutique is not strategic at all even until now the shop lot is soooooo dull. 

After awhile, me and my sister took over the business but we no longer use the boutique only the name. It'd be easier because it is a registered company. So we only focus on hijabs...

Online Business

This is where we gained few skills in business. We promote the business via online, instagram to be exact. We sell shawls, square scarves, cardigans and skirts. We do get the profit, we do get the customers but there's always a 'but'. It dindt last long as well. 

Why? We're not consistent, even some of the shawls i wont buy myself. Like come on most of the ideas are from my sister. I know that i wont buy those stuffs tho. Haha. But some we managed to sell it sampai habis. We literally bring our Shawls Box to everywhere we go just to promote the shawl.

Dropship

The money i got from the shawls business, i tried to venture in other business. A business that people are aware of the brand. I tried to become a dropshipper. Which was hard actually, i didnt get any profit from it. A dropship business is when you pay some money to the actual business, and your work is just to promote the business. All other works are taken care by the one who runs the actual business. So when you promote, you get the buyer, you get the profit. That simple! So simple right! But trust me i didnt even get 4 - digit for my profit. It's a waste so i stop. 

Stockist

Now it's different, i am one of the stockists of a very well-known hijab brand. I still need to find customers but there are alwasys there. It's not hard for me to find them. I really had fun in this business until now. But still you have to promote! You want money, you want profit, you get your lazy bumm ass offf, and start PROMOTE. 

More business keep coming in my mind. And im still figuring out on what to do. What's my real plan in my future life. Hopefully i would gain enough money from this stockist business to live. Insyaallah.

Adulthood

We certainly know that we are entering the adulthood when we act think about MONEY.

Yes that's right...

I am a big girl already, should have thought about it longggg ago but i was too young to even care. Haha, kids.

Now i am that girl who agihkan all her money for different purposes, not depending on my parents anymore.

Money to live,

Money to eat,

Money to save,

Money for ummm... getting married,

Money for almost everyyyything.

And insyaallah one day I am gonna be the person who's gonna pay all mom and dad's hutang. Praying for myself. Especially after seeing our country's downturn it is such a hurtful scene to watch your parents struggling to earn money for their kids.

Maths Geek

I need to brag about it. Yes obv to myself. So that one day when I read about this with my kids or grandchildren it would be something that I am proud of. Back in my school years I wasn’t a bright student nor active in school’s activity. My grades in school was never more than B. You imagine that, okay maybe sometimes I would score one or two subjects. My fav is obv maths. Numbers is everything to me, it is like my thing. I am so in love with mathematics, trust me they are bae to me. Haha. When I got pretty sucked up in school, you know bila stress in school (esp if you’re schooling in boarding school) your whole life is based on an organized and not to say, packed, schedule. AND YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW EM IF NOT YOUR HOUSEMARKS WILL BE DEDUCTED?? (What, housemarks? Do I even care about it) After days living grounded, class, dining hall, dorm room and the cycle goes on. I finally am aware with how people are very concerned with housemarks. And we were like The Hogwarts, you live in with your housemates. Housemates come first then your classmates. But that doesn’t happen to me. Friends are friends, there is no boundary on that. I would talk for days if you want me to cerita about my school and friends and friends and friends.

Anyway, I am away from the pokok cerita, haha, mathematics is something I would do when I am too bored or tengah stress with life. Yes I would do maths. Crazy, huh. I am a little proud to myself when it’s the last year of my schooling year where we have to face our big examination, Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) we were distributed into many classes. Those who didn’t score well in some subjects would go to a some sort of therapy class, and those who scored well they would go to the first class where teachers need not to give full focus on them. Most of the subjects I would go to that extra  ‘therapy’ classes but not mathematics and additional mathematics. Those two subjects I masuk first class. bangga kejap. Haha, but really guys some achievement here. Haha. Okay la kan.  I obv should at least get around of applause from all of you myself.

Silence

Believe it or not, i've been away from this site over couple of months. Because, you know, i am always like that. One moment i got pretty excited over this, then i got bored so abandoning it with no mercy. That is just too bad. It goes by the Malay saying 'hangat-hangat tahi ayam' lol.

I am back to share my thoughts and living life to pleasure noone else but myself. I just love expressing things here and there. I used to doodle EVERYTHING in my book, you see that EVERYTHING. Okay most of it la, bcs when i got tired writing i stopped. Haha (who's that malas girl, yes i am) 

Ok, it's late (like really really late). I need to take my good sleep, wish i could have one.Have to take more concern on myself bcs i've been forcing em to do things lately, which is not a good thing. So yesh. 

Good night.

Tee

H A T R E D

Im writing this because i need to express the rear feeling that lies in the heart of a girl.

Girls are undeniably complicated at times all the time. She may or may not express her feelings to the other person because she cannot literally describe it. (that's like the hardest part of all)

DESCRIBING THEMSELVES

Girls or i can say women, they have a hard situation in describing themselves. That is why they would want other people to describe them. In the meantime, women actually will feel (kind of) appreciated when people tend to observe her. Fret not, the behavior is good or bad, they would listen to them bits by bits. 

I am a girl or turning into woman. And yes, I know. 

There are times that women would feel disgusted or annoyed by some people's behaviour. Especially the ones who dont appreciate their gestures. That is why men out there, you should really encounter the word 'tender love and care'. 

BECAUSE

no matter how brutal a girl can be or ignorance or maybe heartless, they are still the same. Deep down of a  woman, actually has a veeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyy fragile heart. They are the main actress in our lives. They tend to look perfectly fine outside but (God knows what's inside their heart) you never know. 

I've been in the situation of getting stabbed on my heart thousand times (virtually). How this things happen? It comes from your knife words that'd be swallowed by most of the girls and it literally stucked on the heart for awhile forever. 

These are the things that they will remember for forever ! Your words, your actions, your behaviour, all of these give a massive impact to a woman's heart. But nope you dont know that because of your egoistic attitude jumped right through the clouds sooooo high that you yourselves cant reach (men). 

im no broken-hearted girl 

Ra

EMERGENCY!!!!

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

GUYS ! EMERGENCY!!!

What should I do now? 

I certainly am aware of my tummy is getting bigger than ever!!! 

NO !! NO!!!

I AM NOT PREGNANT ! FOR GOD'S SAKE!

But I'm telling you the truth. It's getting bigger

Ok yes. I eat all the time. 

What?! Work out?! Errrrr. Nooooo. Rarely happens. Once in a blue moon, I can say. 

Bad habit, I know. But i only manage to get fit only for a month then I go back to my love-hate relationship with food. 

What should I do????

Ra

Mother

I am feeling over-sensitive lately. 
Is it because of my premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and I dont really feel good, it aches my heart whenever I got into my unstable emotions. 
It is just so-weird

This post is a special dedication to my special someone. Mader

Truth to be told this is gonna be my emotional post. Haha.

I couldnt imagine my life without this person i called Ma, even when we had arguments over she wont allow me to do this, she's not fond of me doing that. Whatever things that she didnt allow, there must be specific reasons why she wont allow. 

First main fact is because, I am a girl. 

Being a girl is (no doubt of it) COMPLICATED. Especially nowadays we heard of those people who always become the vicitim over crime scenes are GIRLS. Okay maybe some of them, they just kind of involve in the crime scene, well that certainly is different story. 
That is the main reason why mother always being over-protective over you girls.

You might be rebellious about it sometimes. Because you didnt get what you want, you didnt get the freedom that you want. To be honest I am like that most of the time. If there's one thing that crosses my mind and I want that thing, the thing I must get in wtv way. Plus after we've entered the adulthood but then your parents are still controlling your sweet own life. That is the time where you get pretty annoyed with it. 

Come to think of it, after i have come to my senses. They are being over-protective because they love you. Things happened to them and fret not they really dont want the same thing happened to you. Because they literally know how it feels. 

I seriously cant imagine how my life's gonna be without them around. I just cant, and I should stop thinking about it because it will just lead me to tears-dropping. 

You cant be mad at them for more than an hour because the love they have given you is eternal. No one can ever replace the love of a mother to their children. EVER

Ra

I am nobody

I. AM. SO. MAD. RIGHT. NOW.

Why?

Here's why?

I have things that I need to settle on this weekend in KL. Yep, KL.
I need to bring back some stuffs, *you know to earn extra income, kind of thing*

I need to go there because I need to, and because I have to. I've been putting this thing on hold for quite some time already and I need to get it done as fast as possible, because in business terms. If you run it slowwwwwly, what you'll get from the business itself is the same pace as your move ! OK, get it!

So the problem arises when my parents wont let me go to KL, alone! A L O N E ! *yes i still live w my parents*

It's not that I am mad with them. But i am actually mad at the country itself. The parents wont let me go becuase it's dangerous outside. People are soooo unbelievably mysterious and dangerous ! * i have to admit that, because it's true!

Come to think of it. It's each and everyone of us the citizens of Malaysia's problem in this case. Because all of us are in a great danger. It can happen to anyone of us as the victim of these culprits.

Why this unwanted incident happens?

People are desperate for money, even we can watched a policeman took money from a SCHOOLKID. *that i can relate to RASUAH* .

So some of people's monthly income is not as much as what they should get. They have to do an extra work to earn more money. But some, they dont do that. They would just robbed, kidnapped, (the list goes on) to earn greater money. Of course the authorized people had done their work. But it's not ENOUGH! They should do more, do something to make this country P E A C E F U L with less criminal scenes!!!

Why do they work sooooo slowwwww. I seriously dont understand that. Those people who are very influential, they should do something about it. PLEASE STOP THIS CRIMINAL ACTIVITY !!

It's our country and why do we have to be scared in our OWN COUNTRY. We've been living in this land for sooo sooo many years already. It's kind of bizzare you know, ugh, I know by expressing this in social media wont help much. Because they would do nothing about it. But for how long the citizens of Malaysia would live like this. Get overwhelmed with our own fearness. People being paranoid about it.

THIS CULTURE OF BEING SCARED LIVING IN OUR OWN COUNTRY SHOULD BE ABOLISHED IMMEDIATELY AND MALAYSIA SHOULD BECOME A RESPECTED COUNTRY INSTEAD 

Ra

L I E

tbh,

'it's okay' is NEVER OKAY FOR GIRLS…

NEVER !!

that word is like the biggest lie that a girl would say

i've been lying all this time and noone seems to care about it. 

OF COURSE IT'S NOT OKAY

thing is, i-dont-know-why girls always talk like this (including me)

i-dont-know-why it's so hard for us to just tell the truth

we're like expecting the other person to 'pujuk' us 

but in the end we're the one hurting over and over again

it's our sweet own problem that guys should understand

because sometimes (read: all the time) we cant even understand ourselves

always hoping for something, but never even tell people what we want 

and 'girls' we're expecting that little-surprise (a surprise that,, God knows what it is in their mind?!) to happen !

how is that even possible

it is crazy

but that is woman 

and woman is me 

so im crazy

Ra

buhhsy

everyone so busyy, so im left with my own thoughts …

wish i could have a cat like before

i think most of my problems are safe with C (mycat)

RIP, wish that you could be here with me right now C 

Research

One word of advice :

Do not look down on your research !

Do not think that you will manage to get it done with your 'last-minute' style !

Do not ever think about it !

Always, always think positive even though your research topic is something you are not fond of

Must believe in yourself that you can finish it on time

Ok that's not one 

I am a final year student in my last semester (6th, 3-year programme). Basically, this semester is my last semester. Finally it has come to an end.

But the very last semester is something different than previous semesters because there'll be no classes or overload assignments or whatever not. This semester is internship semester and FINAL YEAR PROJECT semester.

I thought it's kinda possible to work and do research at the same time. I really dont know how PhD students can survive in this kind of environment. I am clearly a Degree holder but doing those two things at the same time is IMPOSSIBLE ! (okay yes i alwasy think negative bout it, which is not good)

Because my topic of research keep on changing, proposal is due in few days and (what!) i have to change my topic again. Truth to be told this is my 3rd or 4th time tukar my research topic. And no it keeps adding kesengsaraan in my brain.

So when ever I nag bout it to my friends (I bebel all the time), 95% of them said that I'm having a complication and my problem is so f**a*i*g complicated.

nuff said, brain needs some brain-time

Ra

internship

Being a practical student is soooo much different than i-wake-up-early-and-go-to-class student.

Okay so now, I do believe those people who have told me earlier you will experience a new life. A fresh start for a new life (that is like the same word each and everytime you enter new phase of life, seriously). I got pretty excited when it comes to 'punch-card' thingy. Yes i've never work before (dad doesnt allow me). 

Whether you like it or not,  all you gotta do is to work no matter how bore it can get, seriously ! You have to choose what kind of industry that you have passion into. A word of advice…

DONT LET OTHER PEOPLE CHOOOOOOSE FOR YOU!!

Im serious, because thing is you are the one who knows deep down inside yourself who you really are and what your passion is/are (but not me, i have no clue what im gonna be in the future) dont judge.

Fret not, internship wont take your whole life drown to the drain. It will only lasted up to 4 to 5 months or maybe less (depends on your uni). February down, three more months to go. I CAN DO THIS !!

a place that will make my a** fatter 

(due to not-moving-and-duduk-do-work-until-5pm)

Unfortunately, internship is not the only thing that i have to handle in my last semester. While doing my interns we (me and classmates) have to do a research and also prepare for our viva. We have to juggle all these at once lets pray hard that I'll nail it! 

Ra

commencement

Hi...

I am not so sure what was I thinking at the time and suddenly the fingers start moving click-click-click and tadaaaaa now i have a blog already. 

Looks like im just being a mushy-mushy (what's that?) . Haha, okay so here's the thing I AM NEW.

Let's just give it a try

Okay,bye.

Tee